“I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” -Walter Anderson
By determining that the best is yet to come, even when challenges arise you are choosing personal leadership and accountability as the tools you use for being your very best.
Identify and Eliminate Negative Thinking
The Mayo Clinic has been researching the effects of positive thinking. Key excerpts from an online article discuss how to identify negative ’self-talk’ – the internal monologue a person has with themselves – and how to focus on positive thinking in a deliberate manner.
Identifying negative thinking
When you think about what you think to yourself, are you using any of these thought patters?
- Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, say you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you focus only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.
- Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
- Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. You refuse to go out with friends for fear that you’ll make a fool of yourself. Or one change in your daily routine leads you to think the entire day will be a disaster.
- Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or that you’re a total failure.
If you discover that your self-talk is tending to be negative you’re NOT doomed to an unhappy or unhealthy life. The process is simple, though it takes time and practice. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive way:
- Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.
- Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
- Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Create a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body, and to manage stress.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people, those who believe they have no power over their lives, may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
- Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about yourself.
Start with you – while challenges may occur how you respond is what you control. Circumstances will change, what you can keep constant is the outlook you have on the situation. Just like the table above, a positive spin may just be about looking at a situation in a slightly different way, often there is no need to start over – simply start with subtle adjustments.
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